I used to dive into the whole Retrograde fuss and decided that it was only truly affecting me because I let it. Basically Retrograde is a certain astrological alignment with Mercury that is like a major full moon lasting an average of 3 weeks. It messes with our moods, and we can tend to be triggered a lot easier than usual by things that should just roll off of our backs. Some say it messes with our tech toys and it's not good to make major decisions during this time as it may not pan out or even backfire on us. There are lots of do's and don'ts that come with Retrograde and after awhile it sort of sounds like and pretty much becomes a superstition that follows us about three or four times a year.
I'm not saying that it isn't real. I'm saying that we have fallen deep into the transe of it all and we tend to get superstitious after awhile and many people almost literally run for cover when Retrograde starts it's tyranny. This is where we let it run our lives and we have a three week long bad day.
We go direct today, I believe (28th of March) and I will admit that though I remained defiant throughout this last month, it was a hard month for me. I noticed it went just as rough for many people as it hit pretty hard. I live in the Midwest and my state not only saw three heave snow storms three weekends in a row, but I lost a lot of work due to the storms and due to losing internet connection related to the storms. It was a tough month for me to get through. It was tough for my clientele as they did go through a lot of challenges that was almost more than they could handle. My home state ended up dealing with heavy snow storms and some serious flooding that devastated the Eastern end of the state. Lots of things happening all over the country and the world that had humanity up in arms and in fear mode. Yes, I'll admit is has been a pretty tough month to get through.
It was tough on my work as I wasn't able to work much due to the obstacles that forced me and my clients to cancel over and over and I only managed a few reschedules so far. However, it was the most productive in other areas. I did create this new website and got it launched. I also got some writing done in my second book, got started on some of the content of my new Patreon account and other creative ventures.
I did find myself being challenged in other ways. I've been purging like crazy this month. This month forced me to go within to do some deep inner work. It was not fun. I ended up questioning why I was here and why I bothered doing the work I was doing. I'm human. I will never pretend that I'm the most righteous spiritual guru that has totally arrived at Ascended Mastery and look down on the rest of humanity demanding a red carpet. We are all here to have this human experience and it will humble you in a heart beat. I've had a couple moments where I was totally done. I got fed up with the struggling and challenges. It does get exhausting when you have been tried relentlessly and it seems like you have hit brick walls. I contemplated giving up my work, the book, giving away or selling all of my cards, my energy table, etc., because I was done. I had reached the point where I was tired of working so hard to get through a day without too much duality and inner drama. My outside world was challenging but it was inside that I was truly struggling. I asked God/Universe "What the hell do you want from me?". I didn't know what I was supposed to be purging but I also know better than to dig and dwell on it.
Luckily I was over it as soon as it started. But we all have those days where we are such a mess inside that we exhaust every resource trying to get through it or trying to figure it out. Most of the time, it is our ego that creates most of the suffering. I finally had to just get OK with what I was dealing with inside. I had to accept that whatever it was, it was surfacing and all I had to do was work through it and release it. I had to get OK with letting go of all comforts and let go of my resistance. That was what truly caused my suffering and exhaustion. I was trying to hold on to the need to control whatever I was needing to go through. I had to not care about what it was I thought I was losing. I had to let go of all my ego thought it knew. It wasn't serving my highest good anymore and I wasn't losing anything that I had already outgrown. It was just memory and memory is just energy. I know more than anyone that I must be careful of what I wish for. Well, I hadn't wished for this but I've asked God/Universe to assist me in clearing this old DNA and assist me in my rebirth and becoming full Christed Consciousness. That requires a lot of deep inner work and purging, not to mention getting tossed around like a rag doll and slammed into walls and shoved into oncoming speed trains. My guidance team doesn't mess around. But if I truly want to go full blown galactic while in this avatar suit, then I must be willing to do the work and go through that fire several times because I am pretty much done incarnating here and I'd like to be done with the human experiences all together.
The soul's journey is never done no matter what. This is the human me talking. This human experience we all came here to have is not for the weak. It is truly a tough job that our ego regrets the moment we birth into this that while we are here kicking and screaming, we must remember that everything has it's purpose for us and our chosen path. The whole Retrograde event has handed our butts to us big time. Today I see in spirit a lot of people start to walk off the battle field bloody and battered for a brief moment of reprieve until it is time to get back up again and continue the journey paving a new path. If we truly are awakening and see ourselves as living an enlightened or spiritual path, then we had better remember that it isn't what it seems. The human experience this time around isn't as awesome as our Instagram account shows. We have to be willing to walk through the fire and really take this ascension path seriously. We can totally live the aesthetic spiritual life and create a beautiful picture of it on Instagram but we'll never truly reach our goal if we truly want to quantum jump and clear all those karmic timelines so that we can move forward into those higher states of consciousness.
Retrograde or no Retrograde. This journey is only going to continue to intensify. The old ways of turning a blind eye and ignoring it no longer works. We cannot continue to sleepwalk through this life like we used to. We can try but it will only become more challenging and we end up suffering all the more.
I found that allowing the work to be done within me and releasing all those things that no longer served my highest good made this whole month go a bit smoother. Today I do feel like I've been battered but I feel the difference. I feel like I got some things finally accomplished. I've a long way to go and by no means have I "arrived" yet. I know I must continue to not resist my own inner work and duality and set my ego aside more and more. Every time, I definitely feel more connected and I become more and more aware and mindful of things that the eye can't see. It truly is worth it as I see through the veils and I only want more.
You are not alone. We are all in this together. There is so much more going on with deeper insight and knowledge. This comes with the experience as we do what we need to do according to our own personal path. It all does start to make more sense as we are willing to do the work. The peace that passes all understanding sets in and we just end up with the knowing. There are no words to describe it. It just IS. It's a state of BEing. It's a state of consciousness. No religion, faith, New Age practices or Spiritual teachings of any kind can give us this. We have to do the work ourselves with the assistance of those who know what is going on without the ego or any belief systems to get in the way perhaps, but it is our own willingness to detach from the ego enough to allow this to work.
Hang in there. We got this. Stay in the present. Let go of the past and don't even try to control the future. Neither exist. The only thing that exists is this present moment. There is nothing we can do about what happened five minutes ago and we haven't created the next five minutes into the future yet. We waste so much of our energy on things that are non-existent.
Keep your mind and your heart open to all possibilities. Allow yourself room to go through the process. It's not always pretty or Instagram worthy, but it's powerful and worth it.
We can blame Retrograde all we want, but it's only 10% of what happens to us and 90% of what we do with it.
Blessings!